Udonomy

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"Hail HYDRA!" “Alright, alright. Put your arms down Kominski. You look like a West Texas cheerleader at a pep rally.”
Line of the night from Agents Of SHIELD

"Hail HYDRA!"
“Alright, alright. Put your arms down Kominski. You look like a West Texas cheerleader at a pep rally.”

Line of the night from Agents Of SHIELD

Filed under AgentsOfSHIELD HYDRA

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Semi-Precious Recyclables vol 10

The older I get, the less I’m sure of.
The only thing I’m positive about: Never, ever bet on a gray horse.

I’ve never wanted to throw my own feces at a screen before, but Tom Hanks as Walt Disney could change that.

buy new red drapes, make a sex tape, smash a French grape, cook a French crepe, be a shaved ape, tug on Supe’s cape, plan your escape, get a shin scrape, see the landscape, work your ass shape, shut your mouth gape

I don’t have a problem thinking with my dick.
It’s a lot more evolved than you’d imagine.

I never see a bird take a bath in the winter. What do they do, stay funky until spring?

"Arrow" is becoming more like Green Arrow. He no longer kills people without giving it any more thought that taking a shit on a Saturday.

TOP THREE REASONS TO EAT SPICY FOOD
1. Obviously, taste is the best reason. Once you get into it, there’s no going back to bland dishes.
2. Health Benefits. Lower blood pressure, reduced cholesterol, and cancer prevention are not uncommon.
3. It gives your urine a strong odor. When you go outside and mark your territory, it keeps cats out of the yard.

Thinking about starting a band. Need a name.
Is ‘Pinchy Cool Arrows’ taken?

Ever wonder what the world would be like if Germany had won WW II?
I bet everybody would have pubes.

I’d really like to hit the jackpot.
I don’t have a need for much money, I need some really good porn.
JACKpot…get it? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahashit

Usually when I’m on the shitter, the phone rings. Today, it was the door bell. Nice to break out of the routine every now and then.

The next time somebody says ‘it is what it is’, they’re getting punched in the head. Then what it is is a contusion.

Partial List Of Regrets: never having the opportunity to stiff-arm anybody, never doing a black chick, yelling “Remember the Alamo” while doing a Mexican chick, leaving in the middle of a threesome, not learning to play guitar, not punching more people in the head when they deserved it, never having a mohawk, never having a flat top, having a pony tail, not knowing more about Canada, spending too much time being a smartass…

What’s the verdict on Beiber?
punk ass bitch or bitch ass punk

This damn cold weather is keeping me in the house too much. I barely move. I’m as ambulatory as a monoplegic clam.

I have three left legs.
I can’t dance or fuck.

I got 99 problems, but my dick ain’t one.
Actually, I got 100 problems.

Remember the old days when there were naked people on the internet? A little nudity never hurt anybody as long as they’re not frying bacon.


You know the lyrics to Elton John’s  “Your Song” right?
I don’t have much money BUTT BOY if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live
Just sayin’.

I need to get me one of those 3D printers. I have big plans. (which may or may not include a life-sized model of Sigourney Weaver)

Just saw the commercial for the new Julia Roberts/Meryl Streep movie.
My dick fell off.

I bet more than a few meteorologists refer to their period as “southerly flow”.

What exactly is proper protocol when dropping the soap in a prison shower? You’re not supposed to aim your buttocks in the direction of the general population of the enclosure, but I can see where turning around could be problematic as well.

You know what I don’t get?
Laid.

Filed under Semi-Precious Recyclables smartass I did this not even a little funny

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It’s kinda weird that the only thing on TV that makes me laugh out loud is Top Gear (a British automotive programme). This week, they became the only car show in history to show a closeup of a horse’s erect dong. I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones to show said horse throw one host when it mounted a horse ridden by another host.
You just don’t see shit like that on MotorWeek.

Filed under Top Gear hung like a horse

10 notes

One of the advantages of living in a rural area: Unique jewelry. I’d really be disappointed if you said you know anybody else who owns one. More so if they made it themself.

One of the advantages of living in a rural area: Unique jewelry.
I’d really be disappointed if you said you know anybody else who owns one. More so if they made it themself.

Filed under barbed wire ring I did this